Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Mom shaming is a thing with two horns and a tail

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Ever since I became a Mom I have been judged for my choices. Not that the judging hasn't happened earlier, but I kept my mouth firmly shut rather than explain my choices out loud to people who thought it was fine to poke their noses in my personal stuff and had no idea what the term boundaries meant. Now I do realize that Mom shaming is a thing. Yeah, mothers are judged for their choices. All the time.

Going back to work so soon after the baby is born? How could you be so cruel?

Oh, you are a stay-at-home Mom? Don't you feel bad for not earning an income than slog around all day in your pajamas watching your kids? Is this really the kind of example you want to be setting your kids?

Bottle feeding? Why would you do that! Formula is the devil's food. No loving mother should subject her kids to anything that comes from other than her own breast. 

Still breast feeding? When do you plan to stop? Is it really necessary to take out your breast as soon as your child cries? Why don't you try pacifying him/her?

I mean, really? Don't even get me started on the questions that have come my way. I can go on forever. How a mother brings up her kids is her own choice! There is no need to be nosy or overtly curious. If she chose to be a mom, then she most certainly knows what her baby wants or needs. And she definitely needs no judging from others in addition to the mammoth task of bringing up her children.

I thought the questions would stop once the babies turn into toddlers. But hell no, if anything they seemed to have gotten more and more personal and even outright rage as to how dare I allow my kid to throw a tantrum in public! 

We all have our own ways of parenting. What works for me may not work for someone else. Just like each kid is unique in his or her own way, there is no one size fits all formula that work. There is no right or wrong way. In my case, I let my kids get it out before I can actually get them to calm down. My method of parenting is trial and error. I make mistakes. I watch, I learn, I grow. And if that makes me a bad mom, so be it.

But the sad thing is that a lot of the judging comes from other women who are most often mothers themselves. We all know that underneath the polished facade, there is a mother who's waiting to crack. Who binges on chocolate when her kids are asleep and let's face it, who feels guilty for yelling at her kids while at home. But if you have it all under control, if your kids are tiny angels, good for you. That person is unfortunately not me. 

There is no such thing as a perfect mother! One who feeds her kids organic food, never loses her temper when the said kids refuse to eat it and still has not a hair out of place and never, ever loses her cool. The day you can show me a perfect mother is the day I can show you an unicorn, trust me on this. We all have our good days and not so good days when we exist on cups of coffee and couple of hours of sleep, if you're lucky, that is. 

Instead of judging, how about trying to understand what the other mothers may or may not be going through? She may be having a child who's not like yours or she may be struggling with her own issues or maybe she's just having a bad day. You don't have to help but at least keep your opinions to yourself instead of going over and offer unsolicited advice when not asked. Because, if she wants help, she will ask. Until then, quit with the mom shaming. Please. 

Monday, February 10, 2020

In the search for Love

Sometime last year I happened to read an Unsuitable boy, the autobiography by Karan Johar. It was as entertaining as the man's movies. Karan has written about his movie background and how he came into Bollywood, about how he was often ridiculed as a child and of how it didn't stop him from being the person he is today. There have been people who loved the book and some who didn't but I for one, did enjoy the book to a great extent, especially the frankness with which he writes. 

Though I'm not a huge fan of his movies, I think we can all agree that he makes a good job of keeping the audience entertained. He brings home all the bling. I haven't watched his  show Koffee with Karan but when his newly launched show on Netflix came up, I thought to give it a watch. 

In Karan's own words, he's the nosy aunty we meet at weddings who wants to know everything happening in your life. In this show, he picks and chooses six singletons and helps them in their quest for love. All the six people come with their own baggage and insecurities and with the help of some of his celebrity friends and the expert help of a fashion designer and a hair and makeup artist, Karan manages to make them be the 'best version of themselves'. 

The show, just like his movies has a bit of everything from drama to disasters to finally, romance. So if you are a fan of him, then the show is a must watch. But even if you aren't, give it a go if you have that romantic bone in your body. Because the show will keep you engaged throughout and there are some endearing moments that I personally liked in some of the episodes. If you do decide to watch it, do let me know your thoughts. 

Sunday, September 15, 2019

After a break

The past couple of years have been crazy for me. Even when I thought I would make the time to write, I simply couldn’t do it. 2019 has been a good year to me. I managed to get Gouri published (finally!), thanks to a very persistent friend :) It is available as an ebook on kindle on Amazon in case you want to read it. 

Motherhood has been keeping me on my toes and writing took a back seat. I did, however, manage to read quite a few good books, reviews of which I shall try to post here. I know the blog has been long neglected and this time, hopefully, I can show it some more love. It has seen me through some of the toughest days of my life and most importantly, it’s home. So, that’s about me. Till next time! 

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

The year that was 2017

2017 has been quite the year for me. Yes, I have been MIA here and on many other platforms due to a long list of personal reasons. The first of which is motherhood :) I have been blessed with two twin tornadoes, my tinies - a baby boy and a baby girl :) :) They are almost one and a half now and my hands have been full all this while. 

This post is long pending and I owe it to you, dear reader and the blog that has been home all this while, as to where I was. I shall write more frequently as this is something that has been missed greatly. Because this is who I am. So, if you are making the time to read, let me just say thank you. It means a lot. 

Almost two years of not writing or blogging and I'm kind of skeptical if I still have my writing mojo with me. I still hope I do. I'm back for good and there shall be more stories from my end. So, till next time...

Thursday, December 22, 2016

A Gift of Love - IGP.com

Who doesn't love receiving gifts? Be it on special occasions like your birthday, anniversary, Christmas or New Year, a gift is sure to put a smile on not just the receiver's face but the giver's as well. And the best thing about gifts is that you need not even wait for an occasion to give it. I have always loved the surprise element and gifts that arrive impromptu on my door step definitely tops my list.

When I came across Indian Gifts Portal, one of India's largest online gifts store, I was curious. Ordering a gift online without the hassle of a normal shopping experience, it offers a wide variety of gifts right from cakes, flowers, jewelry, electronic items etc. They also offer personalized gifts, a little something extra to make that special person, feel extra special. Why not surprise your Mom, Dad or friend? Do check them out for more gifting options. The prices are reasonable and most offer free shipping. There is something to be found for everyone, for all ages and occasions.  

They also ship internationally (USA, UK, Australia, Canada etc) and even have same day delivery network to over 300 cities in India. Forgot a loved one's birthday? Fret not, browse through the innumerable gift ideas available on their website and you are bound to come across something that will make them feel happy. There are also midnight delivery gifts which include an immense selection of cakes and beautiful flowers, leaving you spoilt for choice. 

Here is a picture of the butterscotch cake that I ordered via their website. It was delivered on the date as I requested. The cake was fresh, rich and moist, a gift from me to me :) Brownie points for the sheer decadence. Surely, one can indulge oneself! Another point worth mentioning is the customer service which is fast and excellent, helping you get through any glitches smoothly, should you face any. IGP is a website that I wouldn't hesitate to recommend; my experience with them has been a fulfilling one. Do let me know about your experience if you decide to shop with them.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

I want to be...

...the froth of cream on your upper lip as you take that first sip of coffee.
...the tiny scar hidden behind your watch on the inside of your left hand.
...the mist from your breath that clouds the window, deep with longing.
...the first whiff of petrichor you inhale as it rains.
...the warmth of your faded blanket on your ice cold toes.
...the well thumbed page of your favorite book of poetry.
...the words that you bleed on to a page, black against white.
...the wind whipping against your face on a hill top.
...all this and so much more.

I want to be the love you deserve. Just let me.

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Winter Musings

The past couple of days I woke up to a beautiful sight. Mist covered greenery through my window. Definitely one of the perks of staying in a flat are the gorgeous views that greet you from your balcony or windows, if you're lucky. Like the most of us, I'm guilty of reaching for the mobile even before opening my eyes. Instead of doing that, I tried listening to the   sounds from around as I woke up today morning. As cliched as it may sound, the chirping of birds is one of the best sounds to wake up to. 

The year is coming to an end with just a month to go. It's raining outside as I write this. December couldn't have started off on a better note. Being a bibliophile, one of the first things that comes to my mind when I think of December is A Christmas Carol. Who can forget the infamous Scrooge and his ghosts created by Dickens? Another happy memory is singing Christmas carols along with friends in the school choir group. Hanging huge paper stars on your porch was a much awaited event too. 

Experiencing a white Christmas is one of the things on the bucket list. That's what happens as a result of watching too many Hollywood movies during Christmas time, I guess. It gives you a lot of winter goals :) So, tell me, what are your favorite Christmas memories? 
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