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My mind is in an inner turmoil as I get ready for my wedding. Have I made the right decision? The person that I chose to spend the rest of my life with; will she be a life long regret later on?
Wedding jitters, I tell myself. But if these were just jitters, why do I have an impending sense of doom shrouding me? I push these thoughts aside try to and smile and joke with my friends and relatives as they fussed around me. Yet, the thoughts linger around refusing to leave, like a bad aftertaste.
As I arrive at the wedding venue, I knew that it was almost done. There was no backing away now. I take marriage very seriously. Besides, it is only in movies that you see weddings breaking off at the last minute. Miracles like that simply don't happen in real life. I feel a pang in my chest when I realize that this was exactly what I had wanted, not long ago.
Life had changed drastically since then. I'm no longer the shy guy who got tongue tied and couldn't string along two sentences even if his life depended upon it, while talking to women. I'm more confident, comfortable in my own skin. She had changed me.
It was her that I fell in love with. At first sight. The red gown that she wore that fateful night remains a vivid memory in my mind even now. With her smoky eyes and luscious locks, she awakened something deep in me that it was almost an yearning. When she decided to make me the center of her attention, I was on cloud nine.
The songs blaring out from the wedding hall bring me back sharply to the present. The hall is decorated beautifully. It looks like a scene straight out of a movie. Weddings have always captivated me. However, as opposed to a wedding which lasts just for a day, marriage was a sacred institution, one that I believed should be forever.
As I watch my bride walk into the hall, I feel a tightness in my chest. If this was what I had wanted all along, why do I feel so guilty?
To be continued ...
Linking this post to the A to Z Challenge.