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The pain is sharp, the needles searing into my skin, then the pain is liberating as it makes its permanent mark on my skin. Ink against skin. Blemishes. Flawed. The day you left me, the day that you decided that I will not be good enough for you, that was the day I decided.
And today, here I'm. The skin around the freshly inked tattoo is red, a tad bruised perhaps. Yet I love it. I am learning a lot of things like this about myself. Now that you are not there, now that I seem to have all the time in the world.
Did you know that it was possible to go out and watch a movie all by yourself? Did you know that the awkwardness fades after the first time? That nobody really cares if you have company or you are alone? That it is possible to get a table for one at your favorite restaurant. That it was possible to listen to the kind of music that you hooked me onto without feeling like my insides were put through a shredder.
I close my eyes. Though the needles hurt mildly, it is oddly soothing. Maybe I will decide to get another tattoo after all.
Wow. That feeling of liberation is something I could connect to. So beautiful :)
ReplyDeleteI love you :) You make me want to read you more and more
ReplyDeletenow thats for a beginning, ha?
ReplyDeleteBeautiful
ReplyDeleteOh I did not felt like I read that second time..<3
Did you know that it was possible to go out and watch a movie all by yourself? :)
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful. I like people who play with words. .. that's a skill you know! You are good at it.
ReplyDelete