|My bookshelves :)|
The past year has been a challenging one for me; both physically and mentally. But today, when I look back I realize that it has shaped me for the person that I am today. It is very difficult to search for a silver lining when all you can see are grey clouds looming over the horizon. But it's always there. You just have to look at the right place. Maybe it takes time. There may be days when you give up. Days when you feel the entire universe is conspiring against you, but it's there all the same.
I was a person who hid my feelings in books. If I was faced with a situation that I didn't want to be confronted with, I tend to ignore it. I would lose myself in the world of reading. I would read, read and read till the distraction went away. I even hoped that a miracle would occur and it would disappear on its own. Yes, I guess I was an ostrich who buried her head in the sand. Somewhere along the journey, I guess I finally grew up and learned to face my fears.
Ignoring a problem is not going to solve it. It stagnantes, slowly eroding away your being until it takes a turn for the worse. That was when I took to writing. Writing gave me a means of expressing myself. Giving a voice to all the thoughts that were there in my head, but scared to tell out loud. I was skeptical, initially. With time, I came to enjoy it, loving each and every moment that I spent in front of my laptop simply typing away.
Writing made me who I am today. Even when I felt that there would be no one to listen, I wrote. I was surprised when people started writing in. A few could relate to what I wrote. I started gaining confidence, my writing voice had finally found a home. I penned stories that made me wonder of the what-ifs in life. Of lives that intrigued me.
Yes, writing filled me with an optimism. I was 100% sure of what I was going to do for the rest of my life. When all else fails, this would be where I would always go back to. This was my home. My safe place. Of course, reading shall always be my first love. If not for the world of books, I would never even have thought of writing. It was my love for books that got me here.
I'm a book hoarder. I have hundreds of books in my home. I treasure my collection. Dusting the shelves and flipping through the pages of books that I have read and are yet to read fills me with an immense joy. They are like a lot of my friends who have always had my back. Books may not always solve your problems. But they do help in making you look beyond it and to reflect on yourself. Books and bookshops definitely make my world a happier place; splashing around a lot of colours and making life more interesting, nurturing the person that I have become.
The bibliophile in me shall continue to live for as long as I exist. The writer in me is taking baby steps to the world of writing. As for writing, it is a mystery that I'm trying to solve, a day at a time.
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