In the search for Love

Sometime last year I happened to read an Unsuitable boy, the autobiography by Karan Johar. It was as entertaining as the man's movies. Karan has written about his movie background and how he came into Bollywood, about how he was often ridiculed as a child and of how it didn't stop him from being the person he is today. There have been people who loved the book and some who didn't but I for one, did enjoy the book to a great extent, especially the frankness with which he writes. 

Though I'm not a huge fan of his movies, I think we can all agree that he makes a good job of keeping the audience entertained. He brings home all the bling. I haven't watched his  show Koffee with Karan but when his newly launched show on Netflix came up, I thought to give it a watch. 

In Karan's own words, he's the nosy aunty we meet at weddings who wants to know everything happening in your life. In this show, he picks and chooses six singletons and helps them in their quest for love. All the six people come with their own baggage and insecurities and with the help of some of his celebrity friends and the expert help of a fashion designer and a hair and makeup artist, Karan manages to make them be the 'best version of themselves'. 

The show, just like his movies has a bit of everything from drama to disasters to finally, romance. So if you are a fan of him, then the show is a must watch. But even if you aren't, give it a go if you have that romantic bone in your body. Because the show will keep you engaged throughout and there are some endearing moments that I personally liked in some of the episodes. If you do decide to watch it, do let me know your thoughts. 

Book Review - Slumdog Millionaire by Vikas Swarup

Image: My own

From the book cover: A former tiffinboy from Mumbai, Ram Mohammad Thomas, has just got twelve questions correct on a TV quiz show to win a cool one billion rupees. But he is brutally slung in a prison cell on suspicion of cheating. Because how can a kid from the slums know who Shakespeare was, unless he has been pulling a fast one?

In the order of the questions on the show, Ram tells us which amazing adventures in his street-kid life taught him the answers. From orphanages to brothels, gangsters to beggar-masters, and into the homes of Bollywood's rich and famous, Slumdog Millionaire is brimming with the chaotic comedy, heart-stopping tragedy, and tear-inducing joyfulness of modern India. 

My thoughts: I'm a firm believer in not judging a book by its movie. In this case, I had seen the movie some years back and felt disappointed. There was a lot of hype surrounding it and the movie just didn't do it for me. So, when I saw the book at my bookstore, based on which the movie was taken, I picked it up immediately.

Moreover, I have read most of the author's previous works and remember enjoying it immensely. Swarup writes in a a way that I can connect with as a reader. And more importantly, he does not shy away from writing characters that are far from perfect. He always does a wonderful job in portraying 'grey' characters, that makes you like them for their flaws. 

So last evening, I picked up this book with an intent of covering just a few chapters. But I was so caught up in the novel that I finished it in one go, over few hours. I must confess that I stayed up till almost one last night reading this. It is so captivating that you get sucked right into the story along with the protagonist, Thomas. 

The book is narrated in the first person by Ram Mohammad Thomas(there is a story behind the name as well). He is an orphan and he recounts his entire life story to his advocate, Smita (and to us). There are twelve chapters in total corresponding to the twelve questions that Thomas gets encountered with. In fact he gets asked a total of thirteen questions, but the last question is a plot twist as we come to know in the last chapter. 

Each chapter begins with a flashback as to how Thomas learns the answer to the corresponding question which is told in a series of flashbacks, and brings us back to the present, at the end of each chapter. The life of an orphan who thrives on the chawls and slums of Mumbai, Agra and Delhi are portrayed very realistically without being patronizing. 

Thomas is portrayed neither as a simpleton nor as a victim. He has his strengths and flaws. He is shrewd, quick to learn, adapts to his surroundings and street smart. There are so many other characters that I loved besides the protagonist. Whether it was his best friend Salim from the orphanage, Neelima Kumari the famous actress or the 'tragedy queen' as she is referred to by the media, that Thomas worked for, Gudiya, a helpless girl from the slum that hr grows fond of, or Nita the prostitute with whom he eventually falls in love with.

These are characters etched out in a lot of depth. For instance, Neelima Kumari and her fixation with being youthful and the ironical climax of her story. I'm not going in detail, but please do read this one if you haven't. There are only a handful of Indian authors that I like and enjoy and Swarup is one of the few on the list. I highly recommend Slumdog Millionaire. Read it not to just get a feel of the underbelly of India, but to embark on a thrilling journey that will keep you on the edge of your seats right till the last line. 

* The book was previously published as Q&A.

Pre-Marital Sex- Still a Taboo?

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In a country which protests against public displays of affection, irrespective of the circumstances, sex is a topic which raises eyebrows. We live in a time when peeing publicly is considered perfectly normal but something like kissing or sharing a hug is a strict no-no. Hence, it comes as no surprise that pre-marital sex is a topic which is very rarely discussed. 

Though times have changed in the recent past with a lot of live-in relationships on the rise, pre-marital sex is still considered a big sin by many. No matter how forward thinking some may claim to be, they are the ones who are usually there at the forefront to judge the decision of others. 

Pre-marital sex when it is between two consenting adults, meaning they are old enough to take responsibilities for their actions, should not be the cause of a hue and cry. Of course, this is simply my personal opinion. There may be people who may or may not agree. But don't you think that's an individual choice? Don't we all have the right to make choices? The freedom to make those choices? 

But when you act as a consenting adult, you are also responsible to face the consequences of your actions. Because, simply regretting your decisions later on is not going to help. Practice safe-sex. Make sure you know what you are getting into before making a life altering decision. 

Introducing a subject like sex education can help children at an early age to decide for themselves on what is wrong and right. My wrong may be your right. But like I said, it's purely an individual choice. But make children aware, especially adolescents. It would be better than them relying on half baked stories from the internet or their peer groups. 

Pre-marital sex can have a lot of downsides as well if you are not prepared for it. Are you ready to risk facing a heart break that is inevitable if things don't work out for you as a couple? Unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases which can end gravely are some of the obstacles that you may have to face. Yes, that's just the tip of the ice berg. You should be prepared to take full responsibility for your actions. 

There are a lot of women who 'save' themselves for marriage as most of our Indian movies have taught us. And heaven forbid if she isn't 'pure'! That would surely mean that she would remain unmarried throughout her life. But times are changing and what is the use of claiming to be a virgin by body when you have a filthy mind? And why is it that only women are subject to scrutiny before marriage? Why is not applicable to men? Why the double standards? 

In times where feminism is on the rise and equality is being preached, the same set of standards should be used before judging a person. Sex is a necessity for all living beings, much like breathing or eating. So yes, as long as you are very well aware of the risks and consequences, pre-marital sex is solely your decision. But it also means that you are liable to your own self. Make love and not war. 

This post is written for Indiblogger in association with the topic 'YES or NO to pre-marital sex' for Poonaam Uppal. 

Poonaam Uppal is the author of the book 'A Passionaate Gospel of True love: A Mystical True Love Story' which is a story of love, magic and passion. Click on the link to buy her book. 

A Cleaner India

Image source: Indiblogger

If you have been on a long train journey across India, you would be familiar with the sights in rural villages. I did take one such journey many years back and the some of the scenes were so vivid that I still remember it with shocking clarity. However, it is sad a state of affairs to notice that things have not improved much since. 

Maybe the story is a little different in cities. But if I were to visit a public toilet, I would still think twice. Yes, the condition of toilets in bus stops, train stations and other common places where the masses frequent are still in a very sorry state. I'm talking about the ladies toilet here, as I know there are a lot of men who prefer the open air to do their business. 

It's humiliating that in a country like India which protests against public displays of affection, relieving your body of its needs in an open space is considered perfectly normal. Bus stops have an overpowering stink attached to them in my memory. Isn't it high time that we did something about our country?

Another memory that is lodged in my mind is a famous beach which I visited many years back. Rotten oranges, pen caps, food waste and other unmentionables were found floating around in the murky waters of what would otherwise have been a nice beach. Tourist spots are often found to be in a sad state in India. 

What is shocking is that in other countries, tourist spots are often the most cleanliest of places. Yes, because their citizens and Government both work hand in hand to ensure that tourists are tempted to visit these place over and again. Maybe we can take a page out of their book when it comes to our tourist spots and country in general. I'm not claiming that all the countries are following this approach but the ones that do, always seem to be prospering in their tourist revenue and also in ensuring that people do not wrinkle their noses or turn their faces while visiting. 

Disposing of waste right on road sides despite there being a waste bin is another problem that's common nowadays. Even while travelling, it's a common sight to see paper cups, plastic bottles, used tissue paper and other waste being trashed outside right through the windows. I have even seen cigarette butts disposed of the same way, which is not only littering the environment, but also harmful to the other vehicles and passengers travelling on the same road. 

But what can we do to help? Cleanliness, I believe, starts right from our home. Think twice before you dispose of waste outside. Is this how we would behave where we in the proximity and comfort of our homes? Isn't our country too our first home? Yes, there are always going to be people who mock what you believe in, but it is time to rise above all those taunts. 

Raise your voice. Don't be a silent spectator. There's a voice inside all of us, one that belongs to a clear conscience. Let the voice be heard. It's true that while you may not be able to bring about a drastic change in a short time, it's always those little steps the beginning of a revolution. 

I applaud this initiative taken up by Strepsils in promoting a neater and cleaner India for all of us. #AbMontuBolega is a campaign that encourages us to listen to the Montu in all of us. And not just listen, but to act on it as well. Learn to say when to say NO. Let's join hands and work towards a Swach Bharat. 

Recycle waste where ever possible. Say NO to plastic. There are a lot of biodegradable substitutes that are available in the market, use them instead. Do not litter when there surely is a waste bin nearby. Yes, maybe that's what everyone around you is doing but you have a choice. A choice to make a difference. A choice to make India, a cleaner one. 

Join Strepsils on http://www.abmontubolega.com/ for their noble cause. Follow them Facebook and Twitter to show your support for the #AbMontuBolega campaign.

This post is written for Indiblogger in association with Strepsils #AbMontuBolega. 

Book Review- The Sleepwalker's Guide to Dancing by Mira Jacob

Picture: My Own

From the book cover: Of all the family gatherings in her childhood, one stands out in Amina's memory. It is 1979, in Salem, India, when a visit to her grandmothers house escalates into an explosive encounter, pitching brother against brother, mother against son.

In its aftermath, Amina's father Thomas rushes his family back to their new home in America. And while at first it seems that the intercontinental flight has taken them out of harm's way, his decision sets off a chain of events that will forever haunt Thomas and his wife Kamala, their intellectually furious son, Akhil and the watchful young Amina.

Now, twenty years later, Amina receives a phone call from her mother. Thomas has been acting strangely and Kamala needs her daughter back. Amina returns to the New Mexico of her childhood, where her mother has always filled silences with food, only to discover that getting to the truth is not as easy as going home.

Confronted with Thomas's unwillingness to talk, Kamala's Born Again convictions and the suspicion that not everything is what it seems, Amina finds herself at the centre of a mystery so tangled that to make any headway, she has to excavate her family's painful past. And in doing so she must lay her own ghosts to rest.

My take: I picked up this book after reading the raving reviews it has been getting. And I'm glad that I did because, this is a gem of a book. I'd read a few articles and interviews with the author previously and her writing has been compared to that of Jhumpa Lahiri. As I started reading, I felt the same too. Immigrant Indians who are living in America, tackling issues such as marriage, loneliness and death are themes which Lahiri tackles with ease.

Mira Jacob has however, brought her own distinct style in giving voice to Amina, the protagonist. They say not to judge a book by its cover. But I say, please do judge this book by its cover. The story is equally, if not more beautiful than the cover. Considering the fact that it took the author ten years to write this book, it should come as no surprise that the book is quite a lengthy read at five hundred odd pages. 

The story moves at a fast pace alternating between the past and the present. We are introduced to a few characters in the beginning like Thomas's mother, his brother- Sunil and his son- Itty. Though they do not have a long place in the book, their presence can be felt right till the end. 

The character that intrigued me most was Akhil- Amina's teenage brother who has a huge impact on her even beyond his death. When a family emergency calls Amina back home to Albuquerque, she has no other option but to go back home to a concerned mother and an anxious father. 

In a country like America, which makes you yearn for home even after years of living there, your friends slowly turn into family. And that is how the Kurians and the Ramakrishnans and the Eapens turn to each other for comfort in times of distress. 

The book goes on to show us how decisions that we took even when we were in our childhood comes back to haunt us later on. Amina is an interesting character in herself, with her dark skin and being constantly criticized by her grandmother and her passion for photography from a young age. She too, has a lot of ghosts to face back home; like her father. Trauma affects us in different ways and the healing process for some maybe time consuming. Others, like Thomas's seldom do. 

I loved the book a lot but for the fact that it felt a bit slow and dragging towards the end. Unless you account for a few hiccups in the second half, the book was nothing but perfect. Due to this very reason, I'm refraining myself from giving it a five stars. 

The book is a brilliant example of the "show, don't tell" technique; be it in the sights or the smells of childhood or nostalgia, the book has it all. Giving 'The Sleepwalker's Guide to Dancing' a four stars on five. This is one debut novel you don't want to miss. I know for sure that I'm already looking forward to the next one by the author. A highly recommended read!

Angry April

Yes, I am literally a blob of sweat right now as I write this. Kid you not. The sweat from my palms is literally dripping on to my keyboard as I type now. It is that HOT. And I mean the sticky, sweaty, nasty kind of heat that gives you sunburns and makes your clothes stick on to you like a second skin. Note to self- Never take a holiday ever again to Kerala in April.

The fact that there is hardly any breeze in my otherwise windy apartment is not helping either. What was supposed to be a fun filled holiday already feels like its going to be a pure 3 weeks of living inside a scorching hot microwave. Now don't get me wrong, the heat is the only minus point. Otherwise, its all kickass. Home will always be home. And like Dorothy says, There's no place like home!

And so here I am, scorched and sweaty but happy and content. When there's little left to do in this weather, I am happily catch up on my reading. Currently reading The fault in our stars by John Green, after hearing about the raving reviews, so far I am a satisfied reader. I have also managed to get a few great bargains in Books yesterday when I went shopping. So, yes, April looks promising so far!

Ok, signing off for now to empty a bucket of cold water on my head. Just joking, or maybe I am not!

Lots of love,
A

Book Review - Chai for Beginners by Jane Ainslie

Chai for Beginners tells the story of Sita Sinclair, hailing from Sidney in Australia, who at the age of 27 has been dumped by her boyfriend, lost her job and needs a new place to live. It is about her journey in search of spirituality, love and self discovery. The book also portrays the friendship between Sita and Mrs Sharma, her new neighbour who tells her more about the Ramayana and her namesake, Sita. 

Things begin to change as soon as she takes up a new job in an advertising company, where she meets the gorgeous art director, Callum. She also befriends Gerome at the office, who plays cupid and is the one shoulder for her to lean on. Things take a twist as she visits a spiritual healer who tells her more about Karma and her past life. 

Persuaded by Mrs Sharma, Sita is enchanted at the thought of visiting India with her. However, tragedy strikes and it leaves Sita in having to make the journey on her own. The rest of the novel takes us to New Delhi, Varanasi, the Ganges and Mt Abu. It gives us an insight of a journey through Sita's eyes as she visits India for the first tine. All her emotions are beautifully drawn out and it gives us a feeling of having gone to these popular spiritual places in India. 

Above all, it is the story of a woman in search of herself and coming to deal and handle things in her own terms. It is the story which we can relate to at some point or the other, be it the friendship, the love, the betrayal or the adventure. This is the debut novel of the author, Jane Ainslie, and we can certainly look forward to many more promising works from her!

About the Author: Jane Ainslie was born in the windiest city on the planet, Wellington, New Zealand. She first visited India in her twenties to study meditation. She returned three times more to advance her studies. She currently lives in Adelaide with her husband and four unruly pet ferrets.

PS- Not only is she a good writer and friend , but a wonderful person as well!