Starting Fresh

On May 15, 2014, I made a life changing decision. I decided to finally quit my job and start over. I have been working in finance for almost six years and though I found the job enjoyable to an extent, it was not what I was cut out to do. I went into finance because it seemed like the obvious choice while I was doing my degree. I went with the majority of the crowd, I wanted to have a powerful career and mint in lots of money. And a career in finance seemed like a pretty safe choice. 

As much as I enjoyed the jobs I have been in, I had always felt there was something missing in my life. True, nobody had forced me into it. But there was this nagging suspicion somewhere in a corner of my mind that I was doing something wrong. When I got my first corporate job, I was overjoyed. I had a hefty package in addition to a lot of perks that came with the job. This joy was however, short lived. I found myself putting in around 10-12 hours a day in the job alone. Add to it horrendous traffic and the commute, I barely had time to get home and sleep, let alone read or relax. 

Caught in between the nasty office politics and colleagues from hell, I decided that enough was enough. My health was beginning to suffer, I was constantly cranky, taking it out on people I loved and my self esteem was beginning to deteriorate. I quit that job and found another one in a short while. Though it was much better than the previous one, the fact that something was missing continued to nag me. I was working at a job that I really did not care about. 

Sure, I enjoyed the exhaustion that greeted me towards the end of each day, the wonderful people that I worked with but I felt I was stagnating there. Of course, I enjoyed the financial freedom that came with it. But was it all really worth it? With nothing chalked out in front of me, I took the challenge of just figuring out what I want to do once I quit the job. I caught up on those books that I have been meaning to for years, I finally gave a voice to the stories that were running in my head, I took care of my body like never before. 

When I was stuck in a desk job, I always took the easy way out and abused my body with all the junk food that I could lay my hands on. I took to eating whenever I got tensed or depressed. This had starting showing on my alarmingly increasing waistline. Now that I finally had enough time to take care of myself, I started working out and eating healthy, even in the little ways that I could. The changes were amazing. After months of slogging off, the extra pounds started to melt away, albeit slowly. My blog and followers grew, slowly but steadily. 

Today if you ask me if I miss my job, I would say yes. I miss it on some days. I miss wearing my formal pants and shirts and working continuously for hours. I miss the challenge and exhaustion that I experienced each day. But frankly, I miss getting paid most of all! Would I ever think of working again? Yes, provided I find a job that suits my requirements. I want to continue writing. In no way am I prepared to sacrifice that.  

I'm also thinking of a change of careers. Like in all cases, it is not an easy one to make. I would like a career where I enjoy doing what I do, preferably to do with writing. But of course, the first question that you are faced with while attending any interview is the experiences that you have under your belt. Apparently, writing on your blog doesn't count, at least not much!

There were a lot of people rolling their eyes at me when I decided to quit. Who in their right minds would do that? I couldn't care less of what others did think. Not then and definitely not today. It's my life and I love to live it on my terms. Undoubtedly, it was one of the most  important and life changing decisions that I had to make in my life. One that I'm glad that I did before it was too late and I had grown bitter and resentful in life. Today, I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. I had both good and bad things in store for me the past year. I have learnt lessons, made mistakes but I'm willing to get up and move forward.  

However, it longer matters. I'm thinking of writing a book. A novel which I'm still outlining in my head and the characters are kind of getting impatient waiting inside my head. I think I should take the plunge and actually do it. What say? In the meanwhile, if I find a job to suit me, I may go for it. Who really knows? Today, I'm broke (I really am!) but happily so. 

This post has been written for #StartANewLife campaign hosted by https://housing.com/.

Silver Linings

My bookshelves :)

The past year has been a challenging one for me; both physically and mentally. But today, when I look back I realize that it has shaped me for the person that I am today. It is very difficult to search for a silver lining when all you can see are grey clouds looming over the horizon. But it's always there. You just have to look at the right place. Maybe it takes time. There may be days when you give up. Days when you feel the entire universe is conspiring against you, but it's there all the same. 

I was a person who hid my feelings in books. If I was faced with a situation that I didn't want to be confronted with, I tend to ignore it. I would lose myself in the world of reading. I would read, read and read till the distraction went away. I even hoped that a miracle would occur and it would disappear on its own. Yes, I guess I was an ostrich who buried her head in the sand. Somewhere along the journey, I guess I finally grew up and learned to face my fears. 

Ignoring a problem is not going to solve it. It stagnantes, slowly eroding away your being until it takes a turn for the worse. That was when I took to writing. Writing gave me a means of expressing myself. Giving a voice to all the thoughts that were there in my head, but scared to tell out loud. I was skeptical, initially. With time, I came to enjoy it, loving each and every moment that I spent in front of my laptop simply typing away. 

Writing made me who I am today. Even when I felt that there would be no one to listen, I wrote. I was surprised when people started writing in. A few could relate to what I wrote. I started gaining confidence, my writing voice had finally found a home. I penned stories that made me wonder of the what-ifs in life. Of lives that intrigued me. 

Yes, writing filled me with an optimism. I was 100% sure of what I was going to do for the rest of my life. When all else fails, this would be where I would always go back to. This was my home. My safe place. Of course, reading shall always be my first love. If not for the world of books, I would never even have thought of writing. It was my love for books that got me here. 

I'm a book hoarder. I have hundreds of books in my home. I treasure my collection. Dusting the shelves and flipping through the pages of books that I have read and are yet to read fills me with an immense joy. They are like a lot of my friends who have always had my back. Books may not always solve your problems. But they do help in making you look beyond it and to reflect on yourself. Books and bookshops definitely make my world a happier place; splashing around a lot of colours and making life more interesting, nurturing the person that I have become. 

The bibliophile in me shall continue to live for as long as I exist. The writer in me is taking baby steps to the world of writing. As for writing, it is a mystery that I'm trying to solve, a day at a time.

This post has been written for #lookup activity hosted by https://housing.com/lookup.

My First Guest Post!

First times are always special, aren't they? I was asked by a good friend and an amazing blogger who goes by the name of Shanx and who blogs at Embark With My Thoughts to write about my blogging journey. He has introduced a great initiative on his blog where he's giving bloggers an opportunity to talk about the journey that made us who we are today. He publishes each post on a sunday. So do head over to his blog and show your love :)

I loved writing  about my journey, though, I don't know if it can be called that. Yet. Mine was more of a trial and error route. I have penned down a few words about my tryst with writing and you can read the post here. And while you are there, feel free to snoop around and drop in few (or more) comments as he is a writer who has a way with words. Especially if you like fiction and poetry. 

Thank you once again, Shanx! My first guest post! Yayyy!!!

A Fresh Start

Image courtesy: Tumblr

When do you realize the moment has come to move on; to carry on with your life? For her, it came like a stroke of lightening, threatening to destroy all that she held near, if she didn't move something quickly. 

She decided that what she needed was a fresh start, away from the mess that her life now resembled. 

Her scars were a chink in her armor, but they made her who she was today. As she stepped onto a new year; towards a new beginning, she carried with her only those memories that were worth cherishing in the future. 

This post is written for Five sentence fiction for Fresh at Lillie McFerrin Writes.

Linking this post to Write Tribe Pro Blogger Challenge. 

Pixie Dust

Image courtesy: Tumblr

Let me send some pixie dust your way

Filled with hope, happiness and all things good

I wish your pain to ease away

Let this pixie dust kiss your worries good bye

Adding a dash of magic when you need it the most...

Conquering Fear

We spend our lives living in fear; fear of change, fear to break free from the stereotypes of our society, fear of losing out, of following our dreams. This past year has been a challenging one for me. I too, have lived in fear. Fear of a lot of things- the vague future which looks bleary at the moment. But I know for sure that this too shall pass. Life goes on.

The one thing that is constant in all our lives is change. And when the time comes, we try all that we can to resist it. After all, life is much more cosy and safe in our comfort zones. Of course, more than fear itself is the fear of failure. What if we don't succeed? What if we end up in worse circumstances?

And just when I thought life couldn't get any worse, it actually did. But you know what? I'm a stronger person today for it. I know that the worst is over. There shall always be people to point their fingers at you. People who will judge you no matter what you do. The only way to deal with such people is to avoid them. Or ignore them, if they are unavoidable. 

Following your passion may not be an easy task when there shall always be excuses like family, job, commitments. But passion is what keeps you going. The very reason to carry on. To wake up each day with a surge of adrenaline rush. For me, that passion is writing. What good would it be if you wake up in fear each day that you may not meet up to the standards set by society? You shall only know when you explore. 

I still remember how I overcame the fear of riding a bicycle many years back. I was around twelve years at the time and it scared me to death if I would lose my balance and fall down. And of course, I did fall down. I did get lose my skin in a great many places at first. But then I realized the sense of accomplishment when I finally made it a short distance without stopping. Yes, I conquered my fear that day. 

Speaking of cycling, it reminds me of how much I miss it. Maybe, I should take up cycling once more. It's a great way of staying healthy too. With the wind rushing right past you and listening to just the sounds of nature is something that I enjoyed immensely in my school days. 

I have also conquered my fear of being judged. Earlier, I was constantly worried about whether I would make a good impression on others. Whether I was walking in tune to that of the society and the public. But I realized that the only person I need to make happy is myself. Yes, your life should never come at a price of sacrificing your happiness or needs over others. Does that make me selfish? I don't think so. 

It is only when you love yourself and who you are, will you be able to appreciate and value the others in your life. It is only when you are content that you realize that it's always the little things that matter. Conquer your fears. Stand up for yourself. Be your own biggest critique and admirer. Believe that the fears that you once faced and overcame have made you who you are today. Above all, realize that fear is not just a thing to be dreaded; it is also a thing of beauty. All you need to do is peel out the fear to discover it. 

This post is written for Indiblogger in association with Mountain Dew. Join their Facebook page to know more. 

Being a rainbow

(Image Courtesy: Google)

"Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud." - Dr. Maya Angelou.

When Maya Angelou passed away on May 28, 2014, the entire literary world mourned. A woman who took charge of her life and an inspiration to many. A writer who contributed so much to literature. Having read a few of her poems and being a fan of her famous quotes, I wanted to blog about this particular quote itself.

Being a rainbow in someone's cloud. Yes, it's easy to be the thunder or lightening. But to be a rainbow, requires a pure and beautiful mind. To be able to shine through the darkest of times for them. Like a candle which gives light even when it burns and melts away. That, my friend, requires a selfless mind. That brings me to another famous quote by her.

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Such wise words which says a lot. To be able to love, give unconditionally is not a gift that all are blessed with. Giving need not necessarily be in the form of money or other materialistic objects, but it could be simply be your presence or a word of comfort that could turn you into a rainbow in their eyes. It could be something as simple as a smile or a kind word. 

I'll definitely aspire to be a rainbow from today. Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud and may the colors reflect in your true self as well!

This post was written for Write Tribe's Wednesday prompt.