Tuesday, April 5, 2016

D - Delilah

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I see your eyes on me when I step into a room 
Criticizing, gazing shamelessly at my curves
I was the one who hid behind shapeless clothes
To hide that extra roll of fat or two 

I'm the one that was made of fun of in school 
The pathetic fat girl who had no friends 
Jeers that I took on silently for I was ashamed
I was disgusted at the body that was bestowed on me

Not fair, I came home and cried silently 
You will never know the long hours I spent
Sticking a finger up my throat to get rid of it all
The guilt I felt each time I gave into temptation

That double burger and crisps that I binged on
The more I ate, the more stressed I got 
Until it started all over again 
I was just another sad statistic

I was just another girl who was measured 
In terms of her Body Mass Index alone 
The fact that I wrote poetry or was fascinated with literature 
None of it mattered, neither did it count 

Until one day I realized that pleasing others
Was not my priority, I was more than that 
I was more than just a figure on a tipping scale
I was a woman, big and proud 

I no longer hide behind unflattering clothes
I revel in my body and all that it has to offer 
My wide hips, my love handles, I love it all 
I still turn heads when I walk into a room 

But it's my confidence that gets talked of 
And my ability to weave words out of the blue 
I smile because they don't even see half of me 
And neither do I plan to show too

I'm a plus sized woman and proud of it 
I see women with svelte curves and the perfect hair
But would I swap places with them? With their tiny hearts?
I would rather be the woman I am with a bigger heart still...


Linking this post to the A to Z Challenge

38 comments:

  1. Bravo ! This was a Masterpiece Aathira.I could relate , walking down and looking at people who are judging and criticizing me

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    1. Thank you, Nikita. We should never allow judgmental people to bring us down.

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  2. Awww the poor girl:( Well written Athira and love it how she gets to the core of her own being finally and learns to appreciate herself for what she is :)

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    1. Thank you, Sunila! If only everyone learned to appreciate their bodies as it is..

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  3. :) Superb. I agree with the Enchantress. It is a masterpiece. No one should be judged by their weight, BMI or whatever. Each person is beautiful in their own way, alle?

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    1. Thank you, Leo :) Everyone is beautiful, fat or thin.

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  4. Brilliant. The post struck a chord with me. People are being constantly objectified, and it's time we stop judging others.

    [@samantha_rjsdr] from
    Whimsical Compass

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    1. I'm so glad to hear that. Thank you :)

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  5. Loving our embodiment is the way to go

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  6. " In terms of body mass index alone" I loved the line...so did the entire poetry. People they would never understand the talent hidden or even the heart :)

    Thoughts...Sushree

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    1. Thanks a lot, Sushree :) We cannot change people, the only person that we can change is ourselves.

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  7. Awesome!! Powerful write up!! I loved the transition from being a victim of fat shaming to a confident person.

    A Whimsical Medley
    Twinkle Eyed Traveller

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  8. A powerful poem Aathira on hypocrisy and so called social names, espoused by people with double standards:)

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    1. Thanks so much, Vishal! You have been a great motivation during the challenge.

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  9. body shaming can be so depressing for a person, fat or thin, fair or dark, beautiful or ugly...there's so much beyond that...and like you aptly summed up, a big heart is all that matters. full of heart your poem is..

    Shubhangi @ The Little Princess

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    1. It can be. If only people learned to look beyond it. Thanks so much :)

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  10. Story of my life!! Well done girl.

    From, http://ishithaa.com/2016/04/discussions-and-decisions/

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    1. Thank you, Bhavya :) It is mine too!

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  11. Easier said that done to accept who you are when all you can see everywhere is "perfection" in the form of size zero :(

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    1. Ha. I know what you mean! That's enough to give one a complex. It's not easy but as they say, one step at a time :)

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  12. Wow! I was smiling in the end. But it takes a lot to accept our bodies, a lot!

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  13. Right On! If we don love and accept ourselves we will never be successful. Love your poem.

    Visiting from the A to Z Blog Challenge.

    Shalom,
    Patricia @ EverythingMustChange

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  14. Woohoo and cheers to that awesome woman! This was brilliant. How sad is it for someone with a beautiful mind and creative thoughts to go through the extremes of Bulimia and other masochistic practices in an attempt to fit in! Cheers to the true full-bodied woman in all her glory!
    @KalaRavi16 from
    Relax-N-Rave

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  15. Such a beautiful post and story! Thank you for allowing me to connect and feel this to the depths of my soul! Well done!

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    1. Glad you could resonate with my poem. Thank you!

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  16. I never knew how it felt about being fat when I was in school and I had so many girls around me, and they were so kind and nice. When I read this now, I think about them and I feel so proud to have known them...

    Fabulous write up Aathira :)

    Cheers
    Geets

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    1. Not all are that lucky. I'm glad you had a nice bunch around you. Thank you, Geets :)

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  17. I really had to read this today. I have been warned and teased by friends and family on the whooping 20kgs I had put on after the wedding. I know, I should do something about it. But I am also happy at the way things are. :P
    Great poem again!

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    1. As long as you are happy, nothing else matters :) Thank you!

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  18. Wonderful Aathira! There are so many women out there who are judged because of how they look. People must realize that looks don't really matter more than a great heart.

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    1. If only more thought like you, Reema. Thank you <3

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