The Woods

                                                     (Image Courtesy: Google)

I wait for you by the woods
To take me in your arms 
And make me yours once more
The trees are silent
Watching me, judging me
Swaying ever so gently
They say the woods are haunted
But I don't believe it
Neither do you
It was in these woods 
That you confessed your love
It was here that you kissed me first
It was under these trees 
That you made love to me

I wait. Impatient. Eager
Yet, you don't come
I despair. 
Till I see you driving past
With her beside you
Something in me breaks 
At that moment.

You have forgotten 
The promise you made
Till death and beyond
Yet, you have moved on
I can see your hands on hers.

I turn and walk back 
Into the woods that engulfs me
Into the woods that now 
Strangely feels like home

Dear Curls, I miss you

Dearest curly hair of mine,

I have never thought that there would come a day I would be saying this out aloud, but I MISS YOU! Ever since the day I could remember, I have hated you. In fact, we had a love hate relationship going on since the time I could remember. You were one thing that I absolutely hated. Yes, I did detest you when I was growing up. During my teens, you were my enemy. But at some point when I grew up, I realized that you were not so bad. That you could be tamed and you actually looked good for a change. 

But managing curly frizzy hair was too much of a bother. So when hair smoothening and hair straightening were all the rage, I went and got you smoothened couple of years back. And boy, do I regret it to this day. Of course, you looked great when initially. I could leave my hair open without actually worrying about how it would like after couple of minutes. We had our good days. I loved the way how you lay all curly and wavy towards the end and all smooth near the roots. 

But then all good things come to an end. And you decided to teach me a lesson. You started growing. Yes, those Maggi noodle look alike tendrils started growing back. So that now I am left with something that's partially curly and all straight towards the end. Basically, now you look like something the cat dragged in. I guess it would be a few more months for you to grow back fully. 

I promise you that I would never ever go for any sort of chemical treatments again. I would forever be grateful if you bestow me with your curliness. Dear curls, come back soon (fully). I miss you. I do realize how precious you were once you went missing. Counting the days till I will be protected by your halo once more.

Yours forever,

A

A painful choice

                                     

Pallavi

I gritted by teeth and bit back the pain as the needle pierced my skin. The pain lasted only a moment and it was done. There, one small pierce on my nose. And that's done. I am now the proud owner of a shiny new nose pin on my not-so-perfect nose. Not that it bothered me. I love my imperfections, after all, they have made me who I am today. Unruly hair, a whim of the moment mix and match tops with faded jeans, a body that can neither be described as too thin nor too fat. I loved it all. Yes, you heard that right.

 I love myself. The way I am. 

My life was far from perfect. Shrinks would have a ball had I visited them and let them see those dark secrets that are woven into my very being. But I have never visited them. Like I said, I have never wanted to. I like me the way I am. But the pain was always there. Since the time I could remember. A deep, dull ache. Sometimes, the smallest of things would make me into a self pitying sobbing creature, that I despised. But thankfully, those relapses were few. At other times, merely trivial things, like a bird chirping or the feel of a light breeze before the rains, would make my heart soar with happiness. 

Perhaps it was to mask some of that pain that I started hurting myself. The first time it happened was an accident. A mistake due to my clumsiness. A knife held carelessly. Blood oozed from my fingers. I was fascinated. The pain numbed me. The dull ache in me moved way for the physical angst that I was facing. 

And so it began. But I found out that hurting myself always was not a choice. For one, I did not want to end up as the girl who was covered in scars. Not that I did mind it or cared what people thought, but it just didn't appeal to me then.

That was when I discovered the magic of piercings and tattoos. The pain was instant. And it took a while to heal. But that was enough. For now. 

I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. Four tattoos, one on my left wrist, one on my left ankle, one behind my neck and another just below my collarbone starting near my left breast. Four ear piercings on each ear. And now, sitting there elegantly on my nose, my joy and pride. 

A nose piercing was what he had hated the most. He had forbidden me from piercing my nose. He had chained me to him with his pain. In the beginning, he had wanted my pain. And I let him. Until the day I finally decided to break free. I knew that I would treasure this piercing more than the others. For me, it symbolizes freedom and healing. It is me. 

Grabbing my scarf around my neck and paying the woman at the beauty parlor who did my piercing, I stepped out into the pouring rain outside. 

Sid

I watched her come outside from the beauty parlor and waved to her. It took her a while to see me, due to the heavy down pour. Being the aloof person she is, I had not expected her to even acknowledge my presence. Though we worked in the same department at office, she barely spoke to anyone. My friends often made fun of me, that I was wasting my time just drooling behind her. 

But she was more than a crush. Pallavi. Her name rolls on my lips like a lazy slumber. Pallavi. An enigma and my biggest mystery. What I noticed first when she joined our office two years back was not her piercings or her inked skin. It was her eyes. They were like two pools of deep dark waters that was undisturbed. 

She never came for any social gatherings or the monthly parties, that was the rave of our advertising company. She never made small talk or friends. If anything, all she gained was sniggers behind her back and jealousy of our colleagues. She was called a messed up basket case. And if she came to know about the names assigned to her, she did not act on it, or chose to ignore it. It was like nothing ever bothered her. Her work was brilliant. Being an advertising company, her creatives were priceless. It was like she gave it her all for art.

Pallavi. Art lover. Tattoo lover. Woman. Child. Broken. She was all that and more for me. 

As she came towards me drenched in rain near the parlor on MG Road, my heart soared. Something in her had changed. The haunted look in her eyes were gone. She spotted a small diamond pin on her nose. Was that a ghost of a smile that I saw flickering on her lips? 

Do you need a lift? Autos would be difficult to get at this time, I said.  

She said nothing, but merely climbed behind my bike and held me tight. And just like that, she was mine as we drove on MG Road as the thunder, rain and lightening folded us into its embrace.  

                                     (Images courtesy: Google, as always)

When life gives you lemons

                                                           

                                              (Image courtesy: Google)

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Oh, what the hell, you might as well have some fun with those lemons! So grab some tequila and salt :) You might as well enjoy it while it lasts. Things may not always go like what we wanted or even planned to. Doesn't mean you have to sit and grumble. Well, it helps if you could rant about it to someone (or in my case, blog about it). Or just go enjoy yourself. Pamper yourself. Yes. Because you deserve it. Give yourself a pat on the back. You have come so far and bad times don't last forever. Neither do good times, if you think about it. So take a deep breath. This too shall pass. I am reminded about a quote by Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City, portrayed ever so beautifully by Sarah Jessica Parker, and that's one show I absolutely love, I mean I love love lurveeeeeeeeee it. But more on that later on, perhaps in another post. Okay, so as I was saying here's the quote:

"The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got a hell of a sense of humor." -  Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

All my love,
A

Book review - Advantage love by Madhuri Banerjee

I had some preconceived notions before I started reading the latest one by Madhuri Banerjee. Having read and loved her previous two works Losing my virginity and other dumb ideas and Mistakes like love and sex, this one is considerably different from both of these books. The book is a light read and I finished it in a day. 

Advantage love tells the story of a young woman - Trisha and her dilemmas when it comes to relationships. She dates the charming Vedant Kirloskar in college, a young politician in the making, who woes and wins her over with his poetry and taste for literature. The two share a lot of interests including their love for debates, books etc. However, upon completion of their college lives, they are forced to break up and go their separate ways.

As Trisha continues to work in Delhi for UNICEF, she meets Abhimanyu, the charismatic tennis player. Wary of men, Trisha's insecurities come to rise when she starts dating Abhimanyu. Things take a turn when Vedant renters her life. Playing the role of her friend and confident is the level headed Juhi who is wise beyond her years. Neha, Trisha's mother also plays a pivotal role in the book.

I was expecting another one of those typical love triangular stories when I bought the book, but Madhuri has pulled it off and the book is a refreshing read. Like her previous works, she tackles issues such as virginity, boyfriends, sex which are still taboo topics in an Indian society. 

The book makes up for a nice read that is apt for spending a weekend curled up in bed. I enjoyed it and would give it a four on five stars. The story line is simple and the book picks up pace towards the end. Giving it four stars only because of the fact that I loved her previous works much more. 

Give it a read if you are looking for a good summer read! 

P.S. Did I also mention the fact that it would be perfect if you are planning a day at the beach ?

My books, my world

Books have been my best friends, my companions all throughout my life. Right from the time that I could start reading, my parents used to buy me moral stories which progressed to Tinkle digest to Enid Blyton to Harry Potter to Sidney Sheldon as I grew up. No matter how down I am or how lost I feel, my books have always been with me. Here are a few recent clicks of mine!

Yes, that's my messy little bookshelf! This one showcases a part of my collection.

And these are some of my recent possessions! Sigh, how much I love Flipkart! Their service is fast, reliable and the books reach you in excellent condition. Not to mention their superb customer care that's available for your help 24/7. But when I feel the urge in me to actually buy books by running my hand along their spines, sniffing inside the pages of books, I visit book stores. Even though I may not always buy books during those visits, simply walking through the aisles surrounded by books make me happy!

Book Review- The better man by Anita Nair

There is something about this book that made me want to write this review as soon as I finished reading it. I have always been a fan of Anita Nair's works and have loved her other works like Ladies Coupe, Mistress, Cut like wound and Lessons in forgetting. What catches my interest is that all her books have a soul, something that you can relate to. The better is no different. It is a beautifully written book which talks of relationships and the power it wields.

Though this book is the first novel written by her, I got to reading this only after I had read and already fallen in love with her other books. Set in a tranquil village, Kaikurussi of Northern Kerala, the book tells the story of Mukundan and his confidante, Bhasi or One screw loose Bhasi as he is popularly known among the villagers. Bhasi is a housepainter by profession and a healer by vocation. A retired Government employee, Mukundan is forced to return to his village that he detests. That is filled with ghosts, with memories that he wants to flee. 

It is only when Bhasi pursues Mukundan to open up to him, to break down the walls that he had so carefully surrounded himself with, does he begin to cleanse Mukundan's memories. To lay to rest the memories that haunt him. We are introduced to a lot of other characters as well- Achuthan Nair, Mukundan's dominating father, Paru Kutty, his timid mother, who still blames him for her death through his dreams, Krishnan Nair, the caretaker who treats Mukundan with the affection of an uncle and brother, Anjana, the school teacher with whom he falls in love later on in the story. 

A lot of other characters and their stories which fascinated me are Kamban, a lower caste Harijan, who works as the post master in Kaikurussi. Feared to be Odiyans,they were said to be armed with black magic. Then there is Shankar who runs a teashop around which all the gossip of Kaikurussi are dissected. Che Kutty, who runs the toddy shop, Power house Ramakrishnan, a comman man turned whose fate changes when he wins a lottery ticket. A scheming businessman whose selfish motives changes the life of Mukundan and Bhasi. There is Meenakshi, Mukundan's childhood sweetheart who is now married. Then there is Valsala, a woman who comes into Mukundan's life due to a mix up of telephone lines. Valsala, who reminds him of his mother, whose eyes are devoid of any feelings. Valsala, who waits for Gandharvas under the Pala tree. There is also 

The book is sprinkled with a lot of interesting characters that I wished had some more space to tell their stories. Bhasi's wife, Damayanti, is portrayed as a strong woman, an enigma. A widow when Bhasi first met her, she changes his life forever.

Unless I stop now, I am in great danger of actually retelling the entire story. I am going to stop now, so that you can enjoy the book for yourself and experience the magic that I felt. All in all, a beautifully well written book. I would definitely give it a five on five.The only drawback I felt was that there was a scope for a lot of these characters to develop. But then, if you knew all about them, then it would have deviated from the main story. I would have loved to get more insights into the minds of these other characters of Kaikurussi. 

A must must read! I simply loved this one. It shows the magic in a mundane life and the value of relationships and loyalty.